A Time For Thanks

     I want to take some time this week to thank everyone who makes my life special.  First I would like to thank my wife for putting up with me all year.  She should get a humanitarian award for her efforts. 
     I also want to thank my kids for being great.  They make great grades, cause very little trouble, participate in extracurricular activities, and love me for who I am. 
     Next I want to thank all of my friends.  Friends are what makes life special and mine do that to the max!  Some of my friends are also co-workers and I want to especially thank you folks. 
    One of the best things that has happened to me over my long life is finding Concordia University.  I always valued my undergraduate degree from there, but my MBA program is a true blessing.  The relationships I am building with both fellow students, and staff, are amazing.  The MBA program is hard, but it is causing me to think again which was something I was needing very much.
     I would also like to thank everyone who has been reading this blog each week.  This blog is my therapy and I hope that people can find some small bit of insight from it that will help them in their lives.
     Lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank GOD for loving me even though I don't deserve it most of the time.  HE is amazing!
     I hope everyone is safe over this holiday and I look forward to us getting back at it next week.

Happy Thanksgiving

Our Quiet Place

     I hope everyone had a chance this week to look at how negative self-talk affects their lives.  This week I want to explore an activity that many feel is an excellent way to reduce stress and counteract its effects.  All throughout history people have used meditation as a way to calm themselves and as we are trying to develop the leader within us it would be a great tool to add to our daily regimen.

     If you are anything like me when I first heard about using meditation as a leadership improvement activity I had visions of Buddhist Monks sitting cross-legged in a monastery.  I couldn’t imagine any practical use for meditation in the business world, but I was totally wrong.  Meditation has been used by every religion, and others, since the age of antiquity and means something different to almost all of those groups.  I’m not really advocating any specific religious practice in this blog, but merely suggesting that developing your own form of meditation will have many positive effects on your life.

     The type of meditation I am advocating can best be described as relaxation, concentration, an altered state of awareness, a suspension of logical thought and the maintenance of a self-observing attitude.[i]  The type of meditation I try to practice, as often as possible, is basically finding a quiet place, taking a few deep breaths, and trying to clear my head.  It doesn’t involve a certain posture, chanting, or any other practice usually related to religion.  It is merely my way of clearing my head.

     Some of the benefits of meditating are the positive changes in the body after a session.  Meditation has been shown to improve heart rates, blood pressure, respiration, brain function, and metabolism.[ii]   Clinics have used meditation to reduce stress and pain.[iii]

     Leading From Within exists to help all of us become better leaders by first helping us lead ourselves.  With all of the positive benefits listed above why don’t you give it a try this week?  If you are having rough days why not find a quiet place and relax for a few minutes?

     I would like to end this week with a big thank you for my professors and classmates at the Concordia University Texas MBA program.  This program has brought my creative side back to life.  I had forgotten my love for learning and my classmates and teachers have made me remember.

  I hope everyone has a blessed week!

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[i] Perez-De-Albeniz, Alberto; Jeremy Holmes (March 2000). "Meditation: concepts, effects and uses in therapy". International Journal of Psychotherapy 5 (1): 49–59.

[ii] Lazar, S.W.; Bush, G.; Gollub, R. L.; Fricchione, G. L.; Khalsa, G.; Benson, H. Functional brain mapping of the relaxation response and meditation" NeuroReport: Volume 11(7) 15 May 2000 pp. 1581–1585

[iii] Kabat-Zinn, Jon; Lipworth L, Burney R. (1985). "The clinical use of mindfulness meditation for the self-regulation of chronic pain". Journal of Behavioral Medicine 8 (2): 163–190

Accept Yourself from the Inside Out

    

     One of the things that I have always had a problem with is negative self-talk.  This is a problem I have had to work on as long as I can remember.  I have heard these patterns usually start in childhood and can color our thinking for years.  Self-talk actually makes us what we are. 

    Self–talk is the conversations that go on inside our heads when we are faced with problems or even simple issues that happen throughout the day. We do not always notice it, but we are constantly talking to ourselves and when it is negative it creates a lot of stress in our lives.

     Becoming aware of negative self-talk is the first step in taking charge of our lives and reducing the amount of stress we experience.  If our lives are bombarded with negative stuff all day the automatic reactions we have limit how we handle life’s challenges.  I know you’ve heard this stuff in your head throughout your life; I’m not good enough, this is not for me, this is way too hard, I can’t finish this, I’m too dumb to do this, change is too hard, etc.  Your parents or teachers may have told you this stuff or it could have been reactions to certain events in your life.  I know in my own life I heard these things from coaches, my parents, drill sergeants, friends and others.  After hearing this all our lives it becomes part of our personalities.  Basically all of these negative people live inside our heads today.  

    How many times have your negative thoughts got in the way of something you wanted to do?  Have you ever really wanted something, but your mind told you NO?  These thoughts surface when you are faced with doing something that is counter to what your mind thinks you can do, or has a negative opinion about. It happens to all of us at least a few times in our lives.

     The good news is we can change this negative self-talk.  All we really need to do is become more aware of it.  Last week I wrote about a great way to work on this by journaling.  When we write down our feelings throughout the day we can go back later and analyze them.  It can help us detect patterns in our thoughts.  People who go to counselors are actually paying someone to journal for them.  Life coaches pretty much do the same thing.  Journaling is an excellent tool for us to use to examine the Leader From Within.

     Another thing we can do if we notice negative thoughts running through our mind is to tell ourselves NO!  We can also tell ourselves to STOP!  This works better if you do it out loud when that is possible.  Saying STOP or NO out loud is more effective because it helps us notice how many times we are doing it.

     I hope everyone thinks about this over the next week and looks at how negative self-talk is affecting your lives.  Next week I will list some good activities that help us overcome the negative thoughts and things we say to ourselves.  Ridding ourselves with this negative garbage will improve our self-esteem and help us to become better leaders.  Working on the stuff running around in our heads is what the Leader From Within is all about.

     I hope everyone has a blessed week.

Startin' With Me

     Have you ever been driving along when a song came on the radio that just spoke directly to your heart?  I had one of those moments driving home from work one evening last week.  Jake Owen has a song out titled "Startin' With Me."  Most of the song seems like it was written just for me, but the verse " If only I'd've known, that later on down the road, I'd look back and not like what I see I'd've changed a lot of things startin' with me."  That is a powerful verse that probably speaks to many hearts when they hear it.

     I know I wrote last week that I would be discussing journaling this week and you are probably thinking what does any of this have to do with journaling.  I truly believe it has much to do with it.  I think we all hear songs, read books, watch movies, or just hear conversations that touches our hearts.  The feelings, or thoughts, we get from these experiences are a very important part of our personal development and us writing them down helps us clarify them.

     Through the years I have known several engineers that keep logs on every activity they participate in every day of their lives.  Journaling is a much different process.  Journaling is the practice of keeping a diary or journal of our thoughts and feelings about what is happening in our lives.  Journaling helps us gain clarity about life's situations.  It is the first step in every problem solving method in existence.

     If you're thinking that Journaling is just too much work think about the fact that another great benefit of practicing this art is Stress Management.  I wonder how many reading this have stress in their lives?  I bet the answer would be close to 100%!  There is strong research out there that shows journaling has the following health benefits:

1. Decreases the symptoms of asthma.
2. Reduces negative effects of stress.
3. Boosts the immune system.
4. Improves cognitive functioning.

     Journaling is also an effective tool to use when trying to change a pattern of negative self-talk, but I will save that for another day.  Like the song says "I'd've changed a lot of things startin' with me." I have vowed to write those things down each day so I can start changing them now.  I forget who told me that we can't change others and we can only change ourselves, but that is so true.  I think to be effective leaders, in our spheres of influence, we have to change ourselves and that is one of the basic pillars of Leading From Within.

May God bless you and I hope you have a great rest of your week.